Corona, CA - In an affront to the cliche about book covers, local resident Mayry Hyman is not just a normal ugly person. Ms. Hyman has been deemed by most people she befriends, meets, talks, or has any type of interaction with, as a terrible person on the inside as well. While most people walking past Mayry only see her large protruding forehead, asymmetric eyes, gummy smile, and Dorito Tan, others who have had the pleasure of talking to her, will find that she is a raciest, sexist, foul mouthed, whore. Calvin McJohnston, a local bag boy at the Luck 7 Gold Happy mini-supermarket, describes her as "a miserable walking trash heap of emotionally and physically abusive human waste." McJohnston continued, "when I first saw her I thought she might be nice since she gummed a smile at me from underneath her gigantic cro-magnon skull. While physically repulsive she seemed like she might be a kindhearted mutant of some sort." McJohnston declined to discuss the interaction further except to say it involved him 'crying, being smeared, hopefully, just in fecal matter, and some psychiatric treatments.'
Ms. Hyman declined to comment on her condition, but did shout out several racially offensive terms while applying another layer of spray-on-tan.
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